“Marital Affection” – 1 Corinthians 7:1-9, by CountrySlicker

¹ Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. ² Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. ³ Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. ⁴ The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ⁶ But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. ⁷ For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.  ⁸ But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; ⁹ but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Corinthians 7:1-9)

Here in chapter 7, Paul begins to answer questions that have been asked by the Corinthian Christians in a letter.  Corinthians were known for partying, drunkenness, and loose sexual morals.  Now, having turned from their old life of living in the world and serving their flesh, the Corinthians are having to learn what is appropriate and glorifying to God.  Having recognized the inappropriateness of the sexual immorality in their lives of the past, they have come to the conclusion that complete celibacy is the solution.  It seems they had determined that if sexual immorality was such a danger, then one could be more pure by abstaining from sex altogether, even in marriage.

In response to this question, Paul responds… “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.  Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”  The word “good” can also be translated from the Greek as suitable, commendable, or admirable.  There is nothing within scripture that requires a Christian to marry.  Therefore, it would be suitable or commendable for a Christian to decide to completely abstain from sexual relations and never enter into marriage.  However, Paul expresses reservations due to the challenges that come with this decision and continues with “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.”  In this scripture, Paul is not issuing a command for the Christians in Corinth to marry.  That topic will be addressed in later scriptures.  Paul is directing those that are married to live as a “married couple” including the sexual relations appropriate between a husband and a wife.

To eliminate sexual relations within the marriage relationship in order to achieve some sense of higher spirituality is to neglect a component of the healthy marriage relationship.  In verses 3-6 Paul puts forth the concept of mutual sexual responsibility within the marriage.  Paul instructs both the husband and the wife to “render… the affection due”.  The word “render” here could also be translated as give, reward, or yield.  The KJV uses the word “benevolence” in place of “affection”.  The meaning of the Greek word “eunoi” from the original writing is “good will, kindness, conjugal duty”.  From these original meanings, we can see the idea of giving (or yielding) to our spouse good will or kindness, including in sexual relations.

The emphasis here is placed on an obligation to the other party.  The husband has obligations to care for and provide for his wife.  The wife has obligations to care for and provide for her husband.  To withhold physical affection from a spouse is to neglect one of the responsibilities of the marriage relationship.  One commentator writes… “It is an awesome obligation: out of the billions of people on the earth, God has chosen one, and one alone, to meet our sexual needs. There is to be no one else.”  To abstain from these physical affections is a concession for specific circumstances for a limited time period.

Paul briefly touches on the discussion of remaining single versus marrying in verses 7-9.  “For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.  But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”  We see in these three verses one of the marks of spiritual maturity in Paul… the ability to recognize and acknowledge that God’s will is not always the same in every person’s life.  Paul knows that it is God’s will for him to be single at the time of the writing and going forward.  (Based on many factors, it is widely held that Paul was at one time married.  The Bible is silent as to what happened regarding his wife.)  However, Paul acknowledges that being single is not God’s will for all individuals.  As Paul states… “Each one has his own gift from God.”  The gift for some is to remain single.  The gift for others is to marry.

The decision to remain single or to marry, from a biblical stance, does not belong to the individual.  This decision is based on the gifting bestowed upon the individual by God.  If God has blessed one with the gift to remain single, then one should embrace that gift and not seek a marriage partner.  If God has blessed one with the gift to marry, then one should embrace that gift and allow God to show them the partner that He has chosen and prepared for them.  As with any blessing and gifting of God… to embrace God’s giftings will bring joy and pleasure; while rejecting God’s giftings will bring struggles and discontentment.

In these scriptures, Paul is simply answering the questions put forth by the Corinthians.  He is not saying that sex is the only reason that one should marry.  Nor is he saying that sex is the primary reason to marry.  Biblical marriage is far more involved than just the sexual relationship between a husband and a wife.  For more scriptures on a complete theology of marriage, see Ephesians 5:21-33 and Colossians 3:18-19.

 “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Ephesians 5:31)

May you embrace and enjoy the fullness of a complete and healthy biblical marriage relationship both spiritually and physically, if that is God’s will for you.  If God’s will is for you to remain single, may you enjoy the intimate, loving relationship with your Savior.  Regardless of God’s will for you on earth, may you look forward with eager anticipation to the union of Christ and His bride, His church, at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb.

God Bless,

CountrySlicker