Leftists’ Civil War Fantasies Are Not Going To Work Out The Way They Think

Guest Post by Kurt Schlichter

I’m really confused about the new movie trailer for the leftist insurgency fantasy flick “Civil War” because it seems to think that the military guy who is hassling journalists with his M4 is the bad guy. I must have got that wrong. Clearly, whoever is opposed to the regime media is the hero, right? Maybe his weird, red Elton John glasses are supposed to signal to me that he’s evil, but I’m just not seeing it. At one point, one of the reporters tells him they are Americans and he asks, “What kind of American?” Frankly, that seems like a pretty good question.

After all, I was told by the desiccated, corrupt, old pervert who Alex Garland – the guy who made this piece of crap movie – a undoubtedly supported, there are a two kinds of Americans. There are good, upstanding, woke Americans who buy into all the communist garbage, and there are normal people who he calls “MAGA extremists” who are bad and scary insurrectionists and hate our democracy and are also racist and transphobic and everything else that is bad.

They also cause inflation and climate change. These people should be shamed, persecuted and hounded from society, disenfranchised, disarmed, and, according to this movie, shot. So, the “What kind of American are you?” thing is not going to shock us because it is already happening, and here’s the punchline – if you’re reading this, you’re probably the bad kind of American, according to the Hollywood jerks and oursenile, evil president.

The movie doesn’t really make clear what’s going on in itsscenario, and to the extent it does, the scenario is pretty stupid. Apparently, there’s a president who likes God, so that your subtle hint that he’s the bad kind of American. He’s on his third term in office, which it meant to be an issue, which is weird because I was informed that the Constitution that bars three terms is an evil document of oppression designed by dead white male slaveholders, but apparently it’s a good thing today. Maybe I just haven’t got my daily Constitution status memo. There was nothing in the trailer about prosecuting your political enemies on trumped–up charges, but I’m assuming that’s a good thing until it stops being a good thing when applied to Democrats.

Also, hilariously, the insurgency appears to involve some sort of conglomeration of Texas and California. The movie was written by someone associated with Hollywood, so I’m pretty sure he’s never been to Texas and doesn’t know much about it. Let’s just say it doesn’t have a lot in common with the formerly Golden State. I’m not seeing Texas and California forming any kind of military alliance except maybe to declare war on New Jersey. 

There’s a lot of this kind of insurrection onanism going on with the left lately, starting with the idea that the minor brawl on January 6 was an insurrection. Lately, we’ve been informed that Donald Trump is going to become a dictator and start some sort of civil war if he wins reelection, which appears slightly more likely than it was thanks to the predictable total failure of the Biden administration. I’m not sure why or how he would start one. Is he going to provoke a bunch of Chardonnay-addled cat women to take up arms and march upon our capital in their muumuus and Lululemons?

Not seeing it. There’s a significant problem that the American left faces. They don’t have any guns. They’ve spent so long hating on the Americans who do that the Americans who do have tripled down. October 2023 was one of the top months ever in gun sales, which is a beacon of hope in this dark night of Democrat misery. But Dems aren’t the ones buying the guns. I’ve been to a gun store recently. I did not see a lot of hipsters, Palesimpians, wokeoids, or obnoxious Volvo-driving wine women. Instead, I saw a lot of guys who look like they can do a push-up. That’s not exactly the leftist demographic. 

Now, I have a little bit of experience with writing bestselling novels about civil strife within the United States and the breakup of our union. My “People’s Republic” conservative action novel series, of which there are eight incredible books, has a much more plausible scenario. The basis of my novel is not so much that there’s a major civil war (initially) but that after some fighting and some conflict there is a negotiated settlement to split the country in red and blue parts. And while I think that’s unlikely, and while I think that’s bad as well, it’s a lot more plausible than Bull Run II.

Actually, there was already a Bull Run II, but you get my drift.

The trailer is cheap–looking, with fake explosions and lots of shots of CGI helicopters or some Humvees driving along, or maybe one tank. It certainly doesn’t look like theArmy conducting an operation. I’m not sure whether that’s a function of a low budget or of a misunderstanding of how the military works. Sadly, Hollywood’s ignorance is shared by a number of fairly senior members of the alleged administration, including Hunter’s business partner, who always blab about how 100 million normal Americans with AR15s couldn’t take on 2 million troops. The thing is, the military is not squads of four guys running around with their tactical rifles with lights on the barrels.

The American military is a giant, lumbering system. Those guys with the guns who look so cool, kicking–in doors and going upstairs with their little laser pointers, are simply the tip of a very long and fat spear of support systems. There’s never just a few helicopters or tanks. There are a bunch of helicopters or a bunch of tanks, and they’re backed up by a bunch of artillery systems, communication systems, electronic warfare systems, maintenance systems,  logistical systems, medical systems, personnel systems, other systems, additional systems, and more systems. The military is a system of systems. It’s not a small group of guys with neat-o rifles.

And that’s why turning the military on Americans is a real challenge. It’s not just that the military is outnumbered, by like 50 to 1, though that’s pretty damn important. It’s that for the military to work, the system of systems has to work. And if the Democrats provoke a Second Civil War, a lot of the human cogs in the green machine are going to hightail it over the hill, maybe after capping their regime-loyal officers. If you’re ever on Twitter/X, you’ve doubtlessly seen those dumb memes of a bunch of hefty rural-looking American stereotypes counterposed against a bunch of SEALs, with a smug tagline to the effect of these dudes can’t take on the studs. Leaving the substantive point aside, because quantity has a quality all its own, there’s another problem with this lefty oppression fantasy.

Where do you think those studs came from? Those hillbillies and rednecks are the moms and dads and brothers and sisters of those guys with all the high-speed, low-drag combat gear. Yeah, a lot of our senior officers would murder Americans if ordered to do so – and that disgusts me to have to say, but it’s the truth, so I’ll say it. Yet, our normal military members are probably not going to be so excited about being used as tools to kill the people who raised them, or who they grew up around, for the crimes of dissenting and misgendering. And that’s not even addressing the fact that the military’s been hollowed–out by the gross incompetence of a military leadership that hasn’t won a war in three decades, as well as its embrace of every bizarre social pathology that sends a tingle down collective legs of all those diversity hire college presidents out there.

So, all this furious Jeffrey Toobining about civil wars and authoritarian dictatorship, and all that crap coming out of Hollywood and the regime media is just dumb. And so is the idea of a civil war, which would not work out so goodfor anyone, especially for the left. There is a better idea. It’s called following the Constitution, and not just when it’s convenient but all the time.