Normal American: Awomen to That

This was originally posted on Normal American. -NCS
We interrupt your celebration of the impeachwoment of President Trump for incitewoment of violence and appeasewoment of gun owners and other domestic terrorists to bring you an important message about language.
We must make awomends for centuries of sexist language. The abolishwoment of hateful, discriminatory, and white supremacist terms like “male” and “men” must be our top priority. This requires adjustwoment and constant improvewoment.
For instance, those of us with front holes do not “menstruate.” We womenstruate.
We will no longer seek to protect the “environment.” Banning fossil fuels and purging Trump supporters defends Mother Earth by protecting the environwoment. We must perwomanently girlcott any business that disagrees.
It is time to diswomantle millennia of oppression. Geologists will study sediwomentary rocks. Biologists will understand that flowers do not have “stamens,” but stawomens. Architects will design womansions for our huwomanitarian leaders. Writers will no longer turn in “manuscripts” but womanuscripts. Musicians will play the womandolin. Cats will have womange. Catholic and Orthodox priests will celebrate the sacrawoments, or else.
Our partners in the United Nations will exert their influence on recalcitrant states who must comwomence renaming. We welcome the nations of Turkwomenistan, Taswomania, Owoman, and Gerwomany.
Let the womanagerial class unite. We offer our endorsewoment of President-Elect Biden and Vice President-Elect Harris as a down paywoment and atonewoment for generations of hatred and bigotry. Justice and anti-racism dewomand no less.
Of course we must draw the line somewhere. We will not allow terms like “unwomanageable,” “arguwomentative,” “judgwomental,” and “womanipulative.” That would be sexist.
It is a testawoment to their trewomendous courage that our governwoment leaders have taken action against the impediwoment to democracy who inhabits the Oval Office. This begins the process of healing and reconcilewoment.
We now return you to the imwomense task of removing the current president from polite society. We must hope for an indictwoment, criminal judgwoment or commitwoment, and, preferably, a more perwomanent solution. We cannot afford clewomency. The mowomentum is on our side.

By NC ScoutPublished On: January 21, 2021Categories: AP Staff, Culture3 Comments

About the Author: NC Scout

NC Scout is the nom de guerre of a former Infantry Scout and Sergeant in one of the Army’s best Reconnaissance Units. He has combat tours in both Iraq and Afghanistan. He teaches a series of courses focusing on small unit skills rarely if ever taught anywhere else in the prepping and survival field, including his RTO Course which focuses on small unit communications. In his free time he is an avid hunter, bushcrafter, writer, long range shooter, prepper, amateur radio operator and Libertarian activist. He can be contacted at [email protected] or via his blog at brushbeater.wordpress.com .

3 Comments

Anonymous January 21, 2021 at 08:44

5
Razorback Trapper January 21, 2021 at 09:00

Lol. Is nature still a bitch?
JIMBO January 21, 2021 at 12:25

THANK GOODNESS.
At least ONE of you FINALLY gets it.
The rest of you American Partisan readers, authors, and contributors: QUIT COMPLAINING!
I am a main-stream voter. I, like 30 million others, voted for Joe Xiden 3 times to put you in your place. Who cares that you think that we cheated?
It is time for ‘you people’ to give it up. Quit speaking of ‘the one whose name shall never be spoken again’. He is gone to Mar-a-Lago! You people need to get with the program.
Wear your masks. Dear Leader has mandated it.
Additionally, everybody MUST immediately, and for the next EIGHT (8) YEARS, wear a multi-colored beanie with a propeller on it. This beanie will slow down man-made global warming. There are ZERO long-term scientific studies refuting the fact that wearing beanies with propellers works to slow man-made global warming! Therefore this must be a scientific consensus. Furthermore, the wearing of multi-colored beanies with propellers will ELIMINATE the possibility of an asteroid the size of Jupiter striking any city in the USA named after an Antarctic President ( this is yet another FACT-probably denied by ‘you people’).
And ‘You People’ shall wear the beanie cap with the bill. This will show you have submitted to the will of those of us in charge by relinquishing your MAGA hats. Furthermore, the multicolored caps will show ‘you people’ are finally embracing the multi-confused-perverted-semi-sexual fantasies of your betters.
Your betters will be privileged to wear the beanies with no bills. That way we shall be easily identified and obtain the benefits entitled to us: first in line; lower prices; being able to sit down in restaurants-you people may be allowed take-out; we can get loans from banks; we can buy new cars-you get our worn-out used ones; we can live in the good neighborhoods-we’ll build ‘fair housing’ in YOUR neighborhood.
If you’re shown to be a good citizen with a good social justice score after only eight (8) years, and no reports of suspicious activities from your neighbors or children, we shall consider increasing your rations. We will have our commissars establishing the local citizen review boards. The commissars shall also have oversight authority on all local law enforcement as well as levying and collecting taxes (we combine all of these tasks to be efficient).
BTW: to increase your good citizen score, for a limited time I will be happy to assist you by taking any firearms and ammunition off your hands-in order to get them off the street. You can bring them to my house and drop them off. NO RECEIPTS given-to protect YOU of course,
If you have five (5) or more semi-automatics with at least 2,000 rounds per, I will be pleased to relieve you of that burden and pick them up anywhere in the Mid-West. I’ll waive the 5 gun minimum for a Barrett M107A1. I’ll do all of this FOR THE CHILDREN.