How many guys have come to one training group meeting and never came back due to negative pressure from home? How many have supportive spouses or significant others?

Amazing, isn’t it, that a primary motivation for involvement in training is to protect; protect self, family, community, state, nation; these are layers of protection for the layers you find valuable.

And of course it’s the tradition of what MEN do.

Equally amazing is how many SO’s f(significant others) resent, ridicule, or denigrate this very primal – and IMOP correct – urge. If you don’t, who will? Many budding sheep dog protectors’ ‘wives wouldn’t let them’ because the weekend was too much time away; the guys are only off playing army; the expense – any expense – is too great. Some of these same SO’s make it difficult for a guy to workout too. But the complaints eventually lead to unintended consequences when the sleek young gazelle she married turns into the hippo on the couch with no testosterone and less motivation. Then, if an emergency takes place, who does she look to for protection/ And who does she blame if it goes wrong?

Speculation is that much of the time two dynamics are actually taking place: one is simple control freakishness, a topic beyond this post. The other is denial, that: “Oh my, all that SHTF fan stuff could NEVER happen here, and that’s just SOOOO negative to think about anyway, so I won’t.’ Ergo, if you never think about bad things, bad things will never happen.

The funny thing is up to a point I’m fine with that because I don’t want to depress my spouse, but I do want her basically aware and ‘with the program.’

But if that’s true, why have a spare tire, or even wear a parachute when skydiving? Positive thinking should be all you need for a soft landing!

About the best options I’ve observed is when the SO simply doesn’t obstruct involvement. The better option is if she supports it with encouragement, even if she doesn’t train. And of course the best is if the SO acts as a true team mate – maybe not run and gun, but at least with common personal defense, perhaps with preps, planning, and maybe kicking your butt to attend or practice a skill, or push the beer and food aside if you said you would. Accountability in other words.

It’s been said that behind every successful man is the right woman; how true this often is. The trick is to get balance right, which can change with different stages in life as time demands of family and fatherhood morph this way and that.

All best in finding your particular balance.

 

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