Carpe Diem – Field Testing My Gear, by Scipio

Last Friday night (March 11, 2022) it rained cats and dogs.  It was what we call here in North Carolina, “a frog strangler”.  When I got up Saturday morning it was still raining and cold weather was moving in.  A quick check of the weather said the “old north state” was in for some severe weather disturbances; a mini nor’easter on the coast, snow storm warnings for the mountains and heavy rain turning into snow in the central part of the state where I live. I sat at my computer and did my best impersonation of Mr. Burns in The Simpsons, placed my fingertips together in a triangle and said, “Excellent!”.

Here I was smack dab in the middle of this forecast in the sweet spot of this unseasonal weather, the perfect time to test my new military surplus rain gear; Parka rainsuit top and trousers.  Since they were manufactured in 2009 and I bought them from a military surplus store I wasn’t sure about the quality of their gear, I had a question in my mind if this still worked.  So, this Saturday driving rain gave me perfect conditions to test the rain suit.

I headed out to the 110-acre park near me that I hike about four days a week.  With my new (used) military surplus rainsuit, and my 12 lb. everyday backpack which helps with my conditioning, off to the trail I went.  This pack is not my field pack, but its contents duplicate my field pack so I can become proficient at reaching into my bag and withdraw what I want without looking.  To blend in with the other mostly weekend hikers on the trail, I don’t wear any serious gear except by 5.11 pants.  My pack is a promo backpack made of black and red material with a big reflective “Budweiser” logon on its back so I can look totally like the good ol boy that I am.

Just as I expected, the park was empty. “Perfect” to quote Samuel L Jackson in the “Kingsman” movie. No disc golf people. No dog walkers. No family picnics.  Just me, my backpack, and my field test gear. Now I could walk through the park dressed in camo from head to toe and not worry about any “Karen’s”.  After all, what fool would be out in this weather? Answer; me, conditions were perfect for my test.

The wind blew rain from all directions, wind howled and rushed through the tree tops (kept my eye on them BTW).  Rain splashed on my trousers below my knees when I had to slosh through rain filled gullies that are normally dry.  It got colder. Rain turned into sleet. Sleet became mixed with snow. Glorious! My rain suit kept me dry! I now know I can trust this gear to keep me dry.

To celebrate, when I got back close to my car, I stopped by two trees that had fallen that would make a great picnic table and a bench to sit on.  Hungry, I popped out an MRE I bought from the same military surplus store, and I was equally not sure if it was still good.  Now was a perfect time to find out because if it wasn’t then I go home to eat, not like I am out in the middle of nowhere. It is getting colder now and I am not moving so I am getting colder.  First thing I do is pop the MRE in the MRE heater while I open the other contents on my tree trunk table; cookie, cracker, cheese pack, and beverage.  I check the MRE heater, its slow to heat.  Check later it’s still slow to heat.  Check back later and realize it’s not heating. Glad I found that out now instead of in the bunnies because eating cold MREs sucks.

No problem, I immediately activated Plan B. Without looking I reached into my backpack and pulled out my bright orange waterproof match container.  I open it to find the small strips of paper and broken wooden coffee stirrer I put in it to help start a fire in the rain. “Excellent!”, I was now going to test it in the rain. I pulled a match out, struck the striker, and nothing happened.  Pulled out another match, same thing happened.  Then I realized, although I constantly monitor my gear load, I had forgotten to rotate fresh matches in my bright orange waterproof container. Now they were useless.

By taking advantage of the inclement weather, my Carpe diem test of my rainsuit also turned out inadvertently to be a test of my backpack. Otherwise, I would have never known until Plan B failed me.  So, I did something I knew would make my wife happy, I exercised Plan C. I went home.  When I left the park, it was still empty, white snow barely covering the ground and completely covering my tracks through unauthorized sections of trail 😊.